Change
Change. That's a very scary word for me. I try to avoid it at all costs. I'd rather have the expected, the routine, the normalcy of everyday life. But what if? What if something better could be possible?
I'm currently in my eleventh year of teaching. I still love what I do- teaching students how to read and developing within them a passion for literacy. And although this particular school year has been quite emotionally and mentally challenging, it is not the route cause for my contemplation to embrace change or not.
Since my undergraduate days in college and, most influentially, my first year of teaching, I've dreamed about pursuing my doctorate degree and teaching undergraduate literacy courses at a university. I want to ensure that graduates leave knowing how to take and analyze a running record, how to feel confident holding a writing conference with a student, and how to include effective word study in their literacy block. I want to develop literacy leaders before they even pick up their diploma.
As I write this I feel a passion, an excitement burn within me, but yet I hesitate fearing the unknown. It's not the classwork or the expectations for conference presentations, manuscript writing, or grant proposals. To be honest, I've already done all of that. It's my kids. If I didn't have two young children I don't think I'd question this path at all. But I have to think about them and that's when the fear of the unknown begins to arise within me. What will my schedule look like? Will I still get enough time with my family? Where will I go after graduation? "It's a full-proof plan" my husband says. "You can always go back to teaching elementary school." Yet all the what ifs continue to fill my mind. I hate the what ifs.
Some days my passion and goals outweigh my fears. On these days I hear a voice from deep within me saying "take the leap, you can do it." But other days, the hesitations and second guessing take over and I just want to stay in my comfort zone of primary readers and writers.
Which side will win out is still yet to be determined. Change is hard. But a change in the right direction could prove to be a blessing waiting to occur. For now though, I'll rest in the fact that I don't have to decide today-soon, yes, but not today. Today I'll focus on my task at hand-helping to instill a love of reading within the children that come before me each and every day.
Two Writing Teacher: Slice of Life
I'm currently in my eleventh year of teaching. I still love what I do- teaching students how to read and developing within them a passion for literacy. And although this particular school year has been quite emotionally and mentally challenging, it is not the route cause for my contemplation to embrace change or not.
Since my undergraduate days in college and, most influentially, my first year of teaching, I've dreamed about pursuing my doctorate degree and teaching undergraduate literacy courses at a university. I want to ensure that graduates leave knowing how to take and analyze a running record, how to feel confident holding a writing conference with a student, and how to include effective word study in their literacy block. I want to develop literacy leaders before they even pick up their diploma.
As I write this I feel a passion, an excitement burn within me, but yet I hesitate fearing the unknown. It's not the classwork or the expectations for conference presentations, manuscript writing, or grant proposals. To be honest, I've already done all of that. It's my kids. If I didn't have two young children I don't think I'd question this path at all. But I have to think about them and that's when the fear of the unknown begins to arise within me. What will my schedule look like? Will I still get enough time with my family? Where will I go after graduation? "It's a full-proof plan" my husband says. "You can always go back to teaching elementary school." Yet all the what ifs continue to fill my mind. I hate the what ifs.
Some days my passion and goals outweigh my fears. On these days I hear a voice from deep within me saying "take the leap, you can do it." But other days, the hesitations and second guessing take over and I just want to stay in my comfort zone of primary readers and writers.
Which side will win out is still yet to be determined. Change is hard. But a change in the right direction could prove to be a blessing waiting to occur. For now though, I'll rest in the fact that I don't have to decide today-soon, yes, but not today. Today I'll focus on my task at hand-helping to instill a love of reading within the children that come before me each and every day.
Two Writing Teacher: Slice of Life
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